I agreed with that…jut days ago. I am 23 and feel like I have not done a SINGLE thing for myself. When I am around a bunch of people and they start talking about school and careers, I agree and congratulate them but quickly excuse myself from the group to avoid embarrassment. I can’t say that I have done a single thing that I am proud of (for myself, of course) and that I am passionate about. When we went to my Uncle’s we were a little buzzed and he started talking about family, and kids, and the future and aging and realizing what life is about. Then he started talking about being passionate about something. I don’t even remember what he asked as I was in a deep thought about my life. But, I remember answering “I wish I would have stayed in dance…”. I am 23 but you know what…I think I want to pursue it. Just for myself. Just so I can say I did what I always wanted to do! I don’t know why but for some reason I have this motivation that I have lost in a bad relationship and have been searching for. I feel great. *sigh*

I am off to party city because they are having a sale on party supplies for a party I am planning. I love sales.

Also, I saw on a someone elses blog that they did a “100 Things About Me” and I think that sounds like fun! I have to finish laundry right now.

I feel giddy.

P.S. As for that quote that was on “So you think you can dance…”….I refuse to put my youth to waste…


Hello! It’s the weekend…again…already!

My birthday went great. My friend threw me a birthday party and I got to see some old friends. I have to say though, I stepped over the classy line…a little. It all went downhill when I decided to drink out of a mysterious cup. I don’t know what was in it. I BELIEVE it was Jack Daniels. Whatever it was, I threw it up not 3 minutes later. Don’t worry, there wasn’t anyone there that would slip something in a drink…which is why I wasn’t too hesitant to drink out of it. I just needed a drink because my mouth was dry. Big mistake.

Well, I went to Washington. I think this may be the last time unless I go on an actual vacation instead of family affairs. I am tired of running around and spending money on something that may happen again. Basically, stressing myself out for no reason. We did try to make a trip out of it. We went to Archie McPhee’s. I saw it on the Travel Channel and I really wanted to go because they made it seem more like a gag store than a novelty store. No. I recommend it because it does have a lot of bizarre things in there, but it was not what I expected it to be.

Now, onto the Friday Five!

1. Name one movie you wish everybody could watch.
The Family Stone. I am a huge Rachel McAdams and Diane Keaton fan. Of all movies, yes, that one.

2. Name two books you wish everybody could read.
Fan Mail
All around the Town

3. Name three goals you wish everybody could achieve.
Self confidence, health, and financial stability.

4. Name four people you wish everybody could know.
Honest, trustworthy, faithful, and loyal people. I think everyone deserves to know someone with those qualities.

5. Name five places you wish everybody could visit.
Sorry, but I have not traveled a lot myself so I can’t help here.

Enough with the sentimental stuff! Next weekend is my Uncle’s party and I think that that will be all for traveling, if that’s what you want to call it, for now. I still need to work on my new years resolution. I think I might let you all in on it, too! We will see. I am hoping to add a few things to this site. Bah! I said that already, but I just need the damn time!

Friday Five

I found out that my Uncles party for the family has been post-poned. But, I am excited to go to Washington again. We will be there an extra day so I hope to find some things to do there. Last time we went to the Evergreen Arboretum and Gardens. It was beautiful.
Well, tomorrow I will be celebrating my birthday with my wonderful friends. Then off to Washington on Tuesday. I hope to update some pictures to my Flickr account from Washington. I actually found a link to find out exactly how to link photos from my Flickr account to here.

So, I found from Nicoles site, the Friday Five. I think this would be fun to start doing. I found the site and well, since it is not Friday, I had to choose an old one. One of my choice, of course! Here we go.


1. Did you get an allowance as a kid, and if so, how much was it?
No, I did not. I got money every once in a while but I did not get an allowance. There were too many of us and my dad was real tight with his money. I would ask for things on occasion and he would say “You don’t want that”. But I did. =(

2. How old were you when you had your first job, and what was it?
I was 16. I actually had to because of the school program where you had to work and learn about careers and life after high school. I didn’t mind. I actually wanted to work. I worked at a well known retail store as a cashier.

3. Which do you do better: save money or spend money?
I do both actually. I pay my bills, put money aside, and have a little for me. But, if I had to choose…I would say save. I am an impuse SHOPPER but not BUYER. I put things in my cart, but by the time I get to the register I either put most or all of it back.

4. Are people more likely to borrow money from you, or are you more likely to borrow from them?
I do not like to borrow. I rarely borrow. People are more likely to borrow money from me. It’s mainly family. Some of which have borrowed more than a thousand dollars and have yet to repay me a penny.

5. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
My digital camera. I had just recieved a huge check for school and after buying books and paying for my classes and doing everything I needed to do. I still had a lot left over. So…I bought a digital camera. I was a little naive. Everytime they asked if I wanted something, I thought it was free. LOL. So, I spend 500. Not really that bad considering it was a great camera, two batteries, memory stick, and charger. Notice, I said WAS. I dropped it while running away from my friend trying to delete a picture she had on HER camera. Well, I was holding the door shut and dropped it in an attempt to lock it when she almost got in. It works, but the LCD screen is compeltely white. Completely useless without it, though. I can’t see to delete the pictures. Boo.

Have a good weekend everyone!





Taken back…

Life is all about…the moment. Some people realize it and some people don’t. When you are in elementary school and the “popular” girl calls you out in front of your friends, you feel humiliated and you feel as if your life is going to end. Same in junior high and in high school. It is true…what they say. Doesn’t matter what you were in high school. It is much different than the real world. I remember people used to tell me when I was in school….”Live life…don’t let the little things get to you. It won’t matter when you are out of school”. “Oh please! You don’t understand the humility I just endured!”. Now, I find myself telling people the same thing and think back and wonder if they think I am crazy.

Aside from past bullies, there are also those things AFTER school. College, raising a child that was an “uh-oh”, jobs, insecurities, weight, relationships. I have put a lot of things aside in my lifetime. Those “in a year”, “maybe next week”, and “oh, I will start tomorrow” excuses, I have come to realize tonight, have turned into “Man, I remember 4 years ago I said I would do this”. If I would have gone to college straight out of high school instead of saying “I will take a year off”, I would right now be graduating with my Bachelors degree. Instead, I didn’t even get a chance to finish my Associates. I said I would lose weight, and never did…but rather gained, of course. I thought by now I would be making a lot of money living in a very nice apartment and saving money for a house since I have this fabulous career. I have no job and living with my mother. I make [living with my mom] sound worse than it is…maybe to give me a boost of motivation.

I got a major blessing today. I have always had a reason to better myself…but I now have the ability to do so. In December…I hope to blog about how things have changed. I will be working on myself. I have had two terrible relationships.

The first guy cheated on me and got the girl pregnant and left me. The second one…for 2 of the 3 years we were together…called me worthless, deadbeat, stupid, dumb, lazy, and burnt me with a cigg, hit my arm, and kicked my back. When I threatened to leave and finally stood up for myself…he started crying and I asked what he was crying for…and he threatened to beat my face in. For years…I have told myself that maybe I AM worthless. I have lost who I truly am.

I am funny, honest, loyal, hard working, shy. I love to have fun, love sight seeing, love traveling, love taking pictures. I love laughing, love stories, love girly things, love to relax with friends and family. My friends and family mean the world to me.

Enough of that. I just want to let people see and help bring out the me that I once was. I am going to live today and make it happen TODAY…not think back on how I should of done it…four years from now.



First, I notice my posts are off because I fixed the time. Sorry.

I swear, every time I start to look for a job things comes up. Now, I don’t want to divulge TOO much into my personal life….right now. I feel as though…if I start to talk about my personal life and feelings about it…that that is ALL I will talk about and defeat the whole purpose of this blog. I want to move on and keep my mind off of it. So, I will try my best to keep it to a minimum.

I am okay financially, but I really want to get back to work. My last employer pretty much screwed me over. I am kind of procrastinating because I found out they said I was NOT rehireable even though I put my two week in. They simply were mad that I was leaving. I am afraid of the rejection from the next employer if they call and base hiring me off of that specifically.

I have to go to Washington for some family business and so I am a little worried about applying for jobs because last time I went to Washington, I recieved an email while I was out and was unable to meet with the employer. I am also against calling and rescheduling.

I am going to be pretty busy for the next week. This Friday is my birthday…23…don’t even feel like it. Guess that’s a good thing. My best friend is going to throw me a birthday party so I am pretty excited about seeing friends and of course…drinks. Staying the night. No drinking and driving here. Then on Tuesday I am going back to Washington for family business until Thursday. On Friday, I am coming back to Texas to pack and go to my Uncles for a party he is throwing Saturday.

I am a little excited right now. This reflects my “title” of this blog. I have been kind of bummed since leaving my last employer and finding out they pretty much betrayed me since the manager WAS my friend (don’t mix personal with business, I know). Well, among other things, I have been pretty bummed. I found out today that there has been a guy asking about me. Which…to me…is odd. I have only had TWO serious relationships. After ending the last one, I have kind of been to myself. I think it’s time I move on.

I feel like a little girl in junior high getting all excited. I know that nothing may come of it…but the fact that someone has asked about me…kind of shocks me. I guess because…I am not the typical girl that can walk up to a guy and start a conversation. I get shy. Geez…kills me.

But, knowing that someone shows interest in me makes me want to get in zeee gym! I hate going in the afternoon. I hate having to wait for the damn machines.

I hope everyone has a good weekend…I know I am!



Ever since my father had his heart attack and the family staying up until 2 a.m. trying to figure out how in the world this healthy man had a severe heart attack, I have kept that sleeping schedule. It’s been a couple months. It is 4.41 a.m. (despite time above) and I have played brick-breaker about 5 times on my crackberry. I wanted to wake up at 8 and go work out. I figure I could stay up until then but I KNOW I will go to sleep soon as my eyes are starting to close as we speak. I have tried everything. I have tried staying up ALL day without napping. I have tried drinking milk. I have tried reading (on my phone, but reading nonetheless), I have tried playing games, watching movies…etc. I cannot kick this schedule! I go to sleep and toss and turn for hours. LOL. This explaining is making you sleepy, huh?

Like I said before, a lot has happened and my mind is racing. I can’t stop thinking of everything. My thoughts, naturally, have found its way into my dreams. My dreams are of my everyday activities gone wrong.

It is 4:45 a.m. and I am going to attempt to go to sleep. Any suggestions on how to get a better nights sleep would be GREATLY appreciated!


Third post in one day? Lame. It’s 9 p.m. (working on fixing that time up top) and I just realized I haven’t eaten. Cause? Well, first let me say that you know I have a problem sleeping and I decided to go get some energy drinks so that I can stay awake and not nap during the day. Well, of course Monsters and the such are too expensive. Gas is already high…but let’s not talk about that!

So, I was looking through the juice aisle and found some energy packets. You know, like the ones Lipton has. You just pour the packet into your water. I was a bit skeptical as…there are 10 packets and it was only 1.50. That can’t be good…right? Wrong. I bought “Morning Spark Energy Drink Mix” as well as “Power Edge Energy Drink Mix” as shown below. They don’t taste too great. They are orange and tangerine flavor…and have a strong aftertaste. BUT…I was feeling good in no time. I cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the living room, redid the bookshelf, dusted the side tables and entertainment center, vaccumed the living room…and I am about to do the dishes and clean the bathroom.

Speaking of cleaning, ever since I can remember…I have always cleaned the house EXCEPT my own room. Why is that? The house looks great. My room on the otherhand…terrible.

Back on subject…I really didn’t think these things would work. The taste is not so great but they gave me enough energy to clean the house and get lots of stuff done.


P.S. I plan on adding more pages and fun topics. =)